So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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