brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
