On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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