i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
