Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
