The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
