remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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