names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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