i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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