If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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