One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
