Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
