I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
