now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
