Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
