I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
