I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
