i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
