anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
