So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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