the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
