Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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