I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Need sex. Gaining weight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
