Got a toothbrush?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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