someone threw a dead crab at me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
