we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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