goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
