I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
