I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
