sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
