And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
