She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
