OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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