No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
