very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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