ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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