So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
