dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
