how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
