I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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