ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
