i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
