so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
