I need help removing her.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
