Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
