He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
