Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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