thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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