If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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