His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
