so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
