don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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