If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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