He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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