Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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